I believe we live in turbulent times and the difficulties often cause great anxiety and chaos in families. I also discern that things will likely get more difficult in the days and months ahead. We must prepare.
I’ve often shared that the “Call to Preparation” is far more than just food storage and learning new skills. It is about being anchored in your Faith, and letting God teach and lead you to overcome fears, difficulties, and discomforts – without completely falling apart (emotionally) under the strains. For many people, it is a major challenge and an obstacle that has been easily hidden from view – in a relatively calm existence. I often think that many of us would rather hide our fears under a rug, than go through the agony of facing (and dealing) with personal discomforts and failures.
The “discipline” of Preparation requires that we deal with tough things in order to handle tough days ahead. The work of Preparation then, is not simply a stroll in the park. In my journey, to be prepared means to accept the task of being vulnerable” in order to get rid of excess baggage that may hold me down during difficult times. That means being open and willing to purge emotional baggage (and resentments) that will likely serve no good purpose in any future difficulty.
One of those difficulties for many people is dealing with past pains from childhood, or specifically – hurts from parents. I don’t wish to sound cold or uncaring with emotional difficulties from a family of abuse, but I do wish to make a point. For the sake of those you love… It is time to “get a grip” and move yourself to the present.
It absolutely amazes me the number of people who continually find a way to blame their problems or difficult circumstances on their parents. Anytime trouble strikes, they are likely to complain “It’s all my parents’ fault! They are the ones who made me this way.” It sounds a lot like the ridiculous old saying I used to hear a lot… “The devil made me do it.”
Rather than take any personal responsibility, many whining individuals would rather take the “easier path” of blaming their troubles on the fact they had “less-than-perfect” parents. I’ve encountered people who are in their later years of life, and still harbor resentments and blame toward their parents. What a tragedy when an adult who had lived more years outside of their parents home than the lived in the home, will not choose accountability for their own actions.
Perhaps you are among the people who regularly find ways to blame your parents for the difficult things that are happening in your life. Certainly, there are legitimate things (especially during the formative years) that occur in life that can cause emotional scars that have a lasting impact. It is never easy getting over hurts or abuse, but there is hope and healing for those who choose to “get a grip” and offer forgiveness and accept personal responsibility.
The Bible strongly exhorts parents to raise their children according to Godly principles. Parents have a flesh nature, so it is inevitable that they will sometimes fail to uphold Godly values. Some parents may not have a relationship with God, or never read scriptures, so they may never show any form of Godly living. Regardless of the ultimate parental relationship with God, Scripture seems to refrain from holding parents completely responsible for the ultimate state of their children. Therefore, at some point a child must accept responsibility for their own choices and actions – especially, as a child moves into being an adult.
The children in Ezekiel’s day had much to complain about. As they were coming of age, they were exiles in a foreign land because their parents and grandparents had forsaken the Lord. They continually complained about their fate because of their parents.
But God declared that His people should stop talking that way (Ezek 18:3). He spoke at length about the fact that sin and righteousness are not inherited. One reaps what one sows. Individuals will be held responsible for their choices and behavior with regard to matters such as: idolatry, sexuality, the use or abuse of money, and the treatment of the poor (Ezek 18: 4-17).
Wrongdoing can not be blamed on anyone but the one who is committing the act. Scripture makes it clear that individuals will be held responsible for their choices, and that responsibility will not be determined by whether we have good or bad parents. We can not choose our parents, but we can choose to forgive them and begin accepting responsibility for our own actions.
No matter how bad a start you may feel you have been given, God calls you to accept accountability for your own life. He has given you the freedom to choose life for yourself, and to forgive those who may have hurt you in the past. It may take a little time to fully heal, but the point is that it’s time to begin the journey by taking responsibility for your own actions, and ask God to forgive you of your sins and to heal your hurts. He is faithful, and will forgive you of your sins. Accept His Son, Yeshua, into your heart and you will find healing.